I have a ton of different posts rolling around in my head, but I never have the time to write. I just want to get this one out though. This is the super honest, lay it on the line part of me. It’s also the can’t keep my mouth shut and I feel like every one cares what I’m thinking part of me. All parts that have their good and bad. So, do stop reading if you don’t care…but then I guess you clicked the link.
Sometimes, oftentimes, people will tell me they LOVE any one of my children. My oldest in particular is just super mature, loving, thoughtful and kind. She’s the real deal. Especially after performances and during tech week people will stop me and say “OH that (enter child’s name) is so lovely. She is such an amazing actress, she is so kind. She is just the sweetest kid, a leader for the others and an example….” and it truly goes on and on. As a parent I am so proud of the young woman she’s becoming. She really is all those things people say, and she doesn’t walk around all puffed up either. She never lets all those complements go to her head. She really is THAT great.
And I wonder…because I’m not THAT great….if people wonder….how she…how they all…are such good kids with me as their mom.
That is all. That was my confession.
Even my confession is selfish isn’t it? I am not saying this to get a bunch of comments like “OH you’re wonderful…blah blah blah.” I promised to be honest and sincere on this blog. I want to say things that are real and messy. I can’t be the only mom that feels inadequate. That looks at her kids and says “Wow, you’re turning out ok, despite how terrible I am.” It’s just proof of a loving God, who loves them more than I do. A heavenly father who has heard prayers to always keep them close to him. It was never going to be anything I did any way. I know that.